Torturing and Father’s Day

By Jeanne Sarson | Jun 21, 2011

At first glance this title may seem like an oxymoron but it is not.

Now, several days after Father’s Day there will be store employees lifting Father’s Day cards from their display slots, maybe packing them away until next year. It makes me think about the good men deserving of an appreciative Father’s Day card. From my perspective, good fathers are men who respect that girls and boys are of equal value as human beings and equally worthy of a father’s positive loving attention, guidance and specifically of non-violent role-modelling. For a girl or boy seeking that specific good Father’s Day card that fits, that delivers the message they want to voice, the search is a bit of a treasure hunt and a thrilling gift to give. However, this description of reality is not so for all children. Some ‘live’ a much different reality.

I must give voice to the children who live a different reality—to the children who survive within the context of some families/groups whose fathers inflict many forms of non-state torture (NST) against them. For women who, as girls, survived pedophilic NST, Father’s Day can trigger flashbacks of pedophilic fathers and family/group torture ordeals. Flashbacking means that women so harmed as girls can re-experience the torture pain of the past as real as if it were happening in the here and now. Father’s Day for them, therefore, means finding ways to lessen their triggers and stay grounded. This is a reality that Linda and I have also come to understand and therefore live with since becoming aware of NST in 1993.

Or, when speaking with a young woman or young man presently trying to escape such family/group structures they, and Linda and I, must be aware of Father’s Day from a very different perspective. They and we must consider if Father’s Day was/is a day of increased danger, significant in that it was used as an excuse for inflicting torture victimization. If so, they must take precautions to ensure their safety. If the perpetrators know where they live and if they are without security and protection, therefore, accessible and vulnerable, they are at risk of to being re-victimized.

This group of torturers use the manipulative tactic of camouflaging organized NST family/group gatherings to correspond with “outsider” holidays and ‘special’ days such as Father’s Day. They can and do organize pedophilic torture “parties” or ritualized family/group events—“the family” gathering events—to bond together for the pleasure of inflicting all forms of NST on the child they chose to torture. And when the child grows into adulthood, these individuals/families/groups can and do continue to victimize the adult they had tortured as a child. These tactics are repeatedly spoken of by women, but also by the few men, who have contacted us, not only from Canada, but from other industrialized countries such as the U.S., Western Europe, Australia and New Zealand.

Such individuals/families/groups have evaded detection for decades. Inflicting torture pain and at the same time uttering threats that she must never tell or if she did tell no one would believe her, this was one way to keep her silent for she feared being tortured further. In addition, women speak of how, when they were girls, they were threatened with death or taught how to kill them-Self. Self-destruction was a common tactic torturers forced victimized children into practicing. Women speak of ‘how-to’—of how the torturers taught them 'how to' cut their wrists or 'how to' stab them-Self with a knife to their abdomen if they told. These terrifying and manipulative tactics were used to secure the torturers safety and prevent being exposed. However, women share how they have tried to tell but were/are not believed. And when they tell they generally must deal with their childhood of indoctrinated Self-harming triggers—they must struggle against the feelings that telling means they must kill them-Self. It is a terrifying process for them.

This year I expose another meaning of Father’s Day. Linda and I break the silence to support all the children who are enduring pedophilic torture and the adults, who as children, survived ‘fathers days’ of NST victimization. This blog is a brief glimpse into the organization of pedophilic torturing families/groups. Today, the evidence is out there—it is a known fact that pedophilic torture happens and can begin in infancy. No longer can a person who has endured such harms be told that what they share cannot be true. Societies can no longer deny reality because police and researchers are validating pedophilic NST via internet policing science. It is essential that good men and women uphold the human right that children must not to be subjected to torture, that adults who have been so harmed have their human dignity restored and that societies such as Canada criminalize NST so such torturers no longer function with impunity.

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